I have this person in my life at the moment. I’m not sure if she is friend or foe, I will let you be the judge.
Let’s call her R. She doesn’t know I blog so I doubt very much she will find out about this.
I have known her for about 2 yrs now. I met her when she worked at the local post office, as I don’t have mail delivery here; I’m at the PO every day. She use to work fulltime there but has since had a baby. She is 11yrs younger than me at 29. Before she had her baby we use to “do” lunch about once a month, sometimes chatted on the phone but that was about it.
Since she has had her baby a little over a year ago now she has been what my husband calls stalking me.
At first I thought it was because she was lonely at home with a bub, but now I’m not so sure.
She calls me EVERY day. Not just once but about 5-6 times a day. Once we spend 6 hours together at a garden show and then when she got home she called me. Most of the time she talk about herself and things that are happening in her life. IE: child, husband and in laws.
When I had lost my license she would call me to see if I wanted anything when she was out or needed a lift, which was nice but I’m a VERY independent person, and usually don’t ask for help even if I really need it. If there is something I can't do myself, I will pay someone. It has got to the stage that I would walk most places just to be away from her.
A few weeks back I was about to go out with my husband when the phone rang. It was her; thanks to the number being displayed I didn’t answer it so I could go out. A few hours later when we got home, I kid you not we didn’t even have time to put the handbrake on when she was behind me in our drive.
She got out and said,
R: ohh you didn’t answer my calls.
Me: Yes R because I wasn’t home.
R: but you didn’t answer my texts
Me: I didn’t have my phone with me.
R: Ohh ok then.
Me: Is everything ok.
R: yes I just missed you, that’s all
With that husband said, well I will leave you two to catch up, I’m going in the shed.
This is what it is like with her.
She has even been know to call when I wasn't home and my daughter answered tell her I wasn't home. Then 10 mins later she will call back blocking her number to see if I answer.
She knew for Xmas I was getting a Kitchen aid mixer, Guess what she put on layby the day after? She copied my cake stand. She read the books I read. I really think the only reason she doesn’t dress like me is that she is about 6ft tall and about a size 18-20.
Its all getting a bit too “single white female” for me.
We were both going to this fundraising function (it was seriously about 500m from my home)a girl who would have to drive past my home offered to pick me up, but she mentioned it to R, R said to me that she was pissed off that the other person had offered when she knew that R and I were friends.
Now I’m working fulltime for our company, and remember my office is at home (Yes still in the house has the fricken builder still hasn’t started the wall in the cottage) She just doesn’t seem to understand that I’m WORKING. I can’t talk on the phone all day about nothing.
When I say I’ve got to go (100% of the time is my saying I’ve got to go) I usually say I will call you back later. If I don’t call back by the arvo she calls me and says. We (as in the baby and her) thought you forgot about us. No stalker I was BUSY!!!!!
I think she has a good heart but just too full on for me.
I have told her that I’m working so I can’t catch up/talk as much on the phone any more. She has back off to about 2 calls a day.
Sigh.
I think I need to run for the hills, Shame is it so fucking flat around here… LOL
What should I do?????
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Friend or Foe?
Posted by Cheryl at 9:08 PM
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3 comments:
Oh God... That is just NOT NORMAL. I would most probably avoid her whenever possible. I would openly tell her that I have my own life to live and that I couldn't possibly spend so much time talking on the phone or around other people. Being a bit of a coward I would say that I need more time with my husband and that means less time with her.
If she just won't take a hint (as it looks like she just doesn't get it), I would stop worrying about what she might think and just stop communicating with her at all. I've done it with one of my friends, we're OK now, but there was a time when she seemed too obtrusive and obsessive having no private life of her own. She was incredibly inconsiderete and tactless, so there was just no other way than to say I was sick of her. She felt insulted and we didn't speak for a year. Of course she thought I was just plain crazy. Now we're great friends again but whenever she gives in to her clinginess and neediness, I just tell her I'm busy, and it's enough now.
That woman seems seriously disturbed. That is sick. She acts like an eight-year-old, demanding all the attention and wanting to be the only friend you'll ever have. It seems to me you are a very kind and gentle, and patient person if things have gone so far. I would have blown my fuse a long time ago. :DDD
I agree with Diana... It is not normal! She must have a very boring life and is attaching herself to you to try to bring some life to it.
I would stop communicating with her... and not worry what she thinks. YOu have the right to live your life without being harassed by some one to that extent. Maybe she will manage to find some sort of life without harassing you so much. As for getting pissed off about someone else giving you a lift.. thats just immature. Having some one in your life like this is tiring, and time consuming.
I had a friend that used to call me at work, and want to 'chat', and it got to a point where she would call me a few times a day and at home. Luckily for me we had a falling out, and I haven't spoken to her since. I'm not suggesting you do that, but I think you need to lay down the law with her... Even if its just to keep your sanity!
Good luck with it.
Thanks for your advice ladies. Your right, this is not normal. I need to distance myself.
XX
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